tl;dr what's about to follow: if you're looking for a blog that distills down to funny and fandom minus actor porn, then hello, friend!

So, without further ado, welcome to me. I'm Graham, by the way. You can call me Cracker if you want. If you don't get that joke, you may not belong here.

This is my personal blog, and it's going to pretty much be anything that catches my attention for about an entire second, because I clearly possess incredibly strict standards.

You are welcome to message me at any time, though be warned, I've been told I frequently get rather verbose. If I do that, and it irritates you, I apologize.

When I have time, I liveblog Formula One races, something a lot of you are probably not interested in. So if you don't want to see me liveblog them, block the tag "leave me alone, I have no idea what I'm doing". If you don't wanna' see any F1 at all, block "F1" and "Formula One". All F1 posts have at least one of those two.


The best (and most romantic) way of describing Johnlock. From my 86 year old Grandpa

Grandpa: You know, I think Sherlock and John might end up together.

Gramma: You think they're homosexual?

Grandpa: Not really.

Gramma: So what do you mean you think they'll end up together?

Grandpa: (frustrated) I think that they're perfect for each other! I mean, just look at them together!

Gramma: (raises an eyebrow)

Grandpa: Stop with the homosexual! They should be with each other because they GO together! They make each other happy! Isn't that what being in a good relationship's about?

Grandpa: Saying someone's homosexual is like saying I love blonds.

Gramma: You do like blonds dear.

Grandpa: But you're not blond.

Gramma: No... I'm not.

Grandpa: You never have been! I feel in love with you with brown hair and stayed in love when you turned grey. I love you for you. Grey or brunette, young or old. Just like John and Sherlock.

Gramma: (smiling)

Grandpa: John may like women like I like blonds, but that doesn't mean he's going to ignore someone perfect for him just because it's not a woman. And Sherlock clearly loves him.

Gramma: I thought you said he's not interested in any of that.

Grandpa: Maybe not in other people. But look how he looks at John! He looks at him like I looked at you on our wedding day. It's love. Not something so trivial as whether he's a man or woman.

Grandpa: (out of breath)

Gramma: I knew I married you for a reason.

Sorta’ wanted Lewis to be the first to ever win from the pits.  

Sorta’ wanted Nico to win for his championship

Sorta’ wanted Fernando to win because he’s a fucking miracle worker, and damn.  

Sorta’ wanted Ricciardo to win because he’s fucking awesome.  

So really, that entire race was just a riot from start to finish.  


"Eldritch… what?"

-Me, mishearing the name of the game “Eldritch Horror.”

salazar: hey everyone just wanted your opinion on something

helga: shoot

salazar: okay what if we get giant versions of our house symbols

rowena: what

salazar: like godric would have a giant lion chilling out somewhere and rowena would have a big canary

rowena: its an eagle

salazar: okay whatever

godric: i dont think uh

salazar: it cant be too hard to find a huge badger

godric: okay dude wtf no this is ridiculous absolutely no giant house symbols

salazar: oh um okay because i kind of uh





helga: what did you do

salazar: NOTHING

At the groceries store




Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller: I dont understand

Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes